söndag 30 maj 2010
lördag 29 maj 2010
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
torsdag 27 maj 2010
Here I go again
Lets say,
you & me on a balcony.
NO,
on a fire escape.
and I rest my head on your lap, or in between your legs, and I look up only to see there are no clouds in the sky.
Yes,
and you say to me "how many stars do you see?"
and I do not answer, only because I cannot answer.
we don't speak for 15 minutes, maybe a little more...
and I can feel your fingers feeling around at my scalp, and it feels so nice.
Yes,
I know you know that I like being touched, just a simple touch of my back, the slightest grace of the spine.
I sit back up and climb back into the apartment.
You know how much I love that apartment.
I put on music that you know I only listen to loud when I am with a special person.
You know I hate dancing, but for some reason I just can't help myself.
I know how dumb it all sounds, and I hate myself for writing something like that...but I love movements and expressions.
You come to me, and hold me and I know that this is probably Love.
L.O.V.E
You don't care about my pessimistic moments, you know I just do it because nobody else is doing it.
You, I , we.
Him and I.
Us.
Them.
We just stand there and let the sound waves echo in the room.
We breathe and I adore you.
Just looking at you, and understanding your acceptance of me is overwhelming.
You're overwhelming.
I am overwhelmed.
onsdag 26 maj 2010
tisdag 25 maj 2010
Beginning of an excerpt of a pile of excerpts.
It was just 5 in the morning when I realized she was still there. Her blonde hair made me feel cheap, and wonder why I didn’t choose a brunette?
By 5.30 I got enough energy to get up and light a ciggarette.
Outside, the city was expanding and demanding, already by the early hours of 5 and 6 A.M.
The sun was halfway there, the streets lights smoothly complimented the roads so the morning people could find their path. I could still see the moon, and I could still feel my sweat running down my back in to the back of my legs.
Already I heard the ambulance busting through the morning gates.
This is what I live for, these are my streets, this is my …
And then she awoke.
Can I get a smoke or what? , she yawned
Im Sorry, I didn’t know you were awake.
Who was this blonde anyway?
I could see right through her…she came to New York in search of a new life…no, that was too obvious.
I’ll repeat myself and correct my mistakes.
She already came from the city, but she was so desparate for fame, that she exploited her clitoris.
Yea, and she loved it. A man could spot that clitoris from a mile away.
”Hey, isn’t that….Yeah! it is her!”
For one moment I was proud of my purchase, then instantly I became repulsed at my action of thought.
Hey…you got a light?
Yeah, I got a light.
She was pretty, and simple.
At this point of my life, I didn’t want anything better. I know it's a depressing thought…I mean, I don’t mean to dousche around…but Im quite handsome. My jaw line and cheek bones are simply exquisite. Beautiful girls are like dolls, and after a while…you’d rather just play with a rock or a stick, a simple object put forth by nature.
A simple girl, is that simple object…
I just wish she were a simple brunette.
söndag 23 maj 2010
torsdag 20 maj 2010
onsdag 19 maj 2010
tisdag 18 maj 2010
söndag 16 maj 2010
torsdag 13 maj 2010
ryggen runt om magen och hans händer ville vara ö v e rallt med mitt gemensamma tyckande
blek svart blek mörkt det svaga smygande leendet
hans iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivriga läppar JAG UPPSKATTAR DIG sa dom DU ÄR SMULTRONGOD sa dom
men bara hans ansikte, hans huvudform. magnetiserar mig.
tisdag 11 maj 2010
Today Today Today
To be perfectly honest I don't know whats wrong,
and I thought this only happened when I had had too much to drink or too much of the party atmosphere, too much tobacco....
but now it must be something else because it happened today.
The past few days I've felt overly tired...the only problem is that I'm not tired.
My face is white as snow, whereas my hands continue to be a light brown.
10 minutes ago i put my hands up to my face and the contrast is scary.
Today at the film club, I felt that something was wrong in my stomach..after half an hour of not being able to deal with it anymore, i walked into the bathroom and wet a paper towel to put on my forehead.
Still i felt weak, and sat with my pants on , on the toilet and took deep breaths.
The water was still running in the faucet.
i tried to focus on the sound of the running water.
Everything started to get hot, so i had to take of my sweater .
My head band came off with it.
I had to get out of that small area, so i got out and walked to the couch in the corridor.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8
Now i couldnt see the couch, but i felt that it was there, and fell on my side , onto the couch.
After 10 seconds my site cleared up, and I could see again.
I hate when i go blind for just 20 seconds, dont you?
I got myself together, put my headband on, and took a deep breath.
I figured the movie room is cooler than this corridor, and i need to cool off.
Fever.
Or is it really a fever?
I went back into the room as if nothing had happened, and continued to watch Pulp Fiction.
This has happened maybe 9 times in my life?...8 times?
Twice when I was about 11 or 12, and then we thought it was because I was anemic..but I have no clue.
I guess I just have to keep living the day, today today, and then tomorrow too.
söndag 9 maj 2010
lördag 8 maj 2010
Detta fortgick till en ålder av 14.
fredag 7 maj 2010
väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan väntan
torsdag 6 maj 2010
Letter to You know...
tisdag 4 maj 2010
Och ja jag vet, jag vet att det bara är jag som kan utforska mig för det är min uppgift
är det inte därför man lever?
Jag menar, tänk om alla kunde hyra en rymdraket och åka ut i universum, the infinity, utan att betala ett öre och utan att gå någon som helst utbildning
Hur spännande och exotiskt skulle det vara då?
Hej, detta är Vingresor som skriver.
Vi har ett erbjudande som går ut i maj,
om du köper en resa till Cypern så får du en resa ut i oändligheten på köpet.
Försäkring ingår, om du inte hittar hem igen hämtar vi dig.
Allt detta för endast 3495 kr.
Var vänlig hör av dig inom en vecka,
och kom ihåg,
du är speciell!
ta av dig bh:n och le mjukt för naturligt är bäst sa dom förr förr förr för visst var det så?
sätt upp håret i en knut i nacken och skrubba trappan med dina såriga händer som dom gjorde förr förr förr och le mjukt för naturligt är bäst.
tunga steg på ovanvåningen som man hör på nedanvåningen för golvet är så tunt som ett blad i bibeln som man var tvungen att läsa förr. för himlen var blåare förr.
svåraste sättet att försöka förstå situationen: man ska vara annorlunda och man får inte smälta in i mängden.
så gör nu såhär att du går till närmaste frisörsalong (som alla andra) och bleker håret onaturligt gult till ljudet av frisörens ettriga röst och rix fm i bakgrunden och går därifrån med ett mjukt leende nu nu nu nuförtiden ska man göra så.
du ska arbeta på ett stilrent kontor (som alla andra) med låtsaspalmer gömda i hörnen men dom förfriskar ju omgivningen dom gör ju det!!! så släng inte dom när du går förbi med smattrande klackar på det massiva marmorgolvet som också är helt ljudisolerat. nu.
nuförtiden finns det mobiltelefoner så man inte behöver vara hemma och vakta barnen nu nu nu för det kan man göra sen sen sen.
sen är framtiden så den kan jag omöjligt skriva något om
måndag 3 maj 2010
Or is it truly spring time in Paris for that piece of shit
I don't care what's true, I don't care what you do
to a stone that you hold in your arms
At the end of the day in heartswarm
I was sick of the rodeo
I was sick of the farm
I was stuck in inside of dreams, coming off something pretty strong
And you could've been fair
You could've been ruthless like the other girls in love with the war
Down at the summer fair in heartswarm
Dearest darling, no one's in it for the long haul
Look here, Kelly, no one's in it at all
I was coming off something particularly strong
You had your gloves on
They looked fucking brutal as a storm
July 23. Modest Mouse
söndag 2 maj 2010
Se-det-komiska
lördag 1 maj 2010
A coffee triggered Ramble
-After I've washed my hands, or any time after I've used the sink, I have to stare at the faucet for about 10 seconds to assure myself that water isn't running which would lead to an overflow of water.
-when something uncomfortable is about to happen, i grab at my left arm to calm myself down.
-I absolutely hate it when I am surrounded by people walking at a pace slower than myself.
-I cant stand it when a stranger can't make up their mind
-I get goosebumps when a person plays the wrong note, whether it be too high or too low
-I don't like to be loud spoken, and chant for things (like a demonstration)
-I absolutely don't like activities that are often taken place in Summer camps..which also means these chant things and such self pride..
-I don't really like Summer Camps in general..only music camp at MSM.
-I dont like to take part in theater
-when i've locked the door I have to look at the lock for 10 seconds to assure myself that it really is locked.
-when I watch tv i like to make sure that there is absolutely nothing on the table that would destract my eyes from the moving images on the scree.
- When I play music I cant have any notes from the other music sheets visible
-I have to touch at least some materials when Im in a store
-sometimes at random times I have to grind my teeth as hard as I can just because
-when I was little up until now, whenever Im on a train, a draw the outline on the seat infront of me with my fingers
-don't like eating popcorn before a movie has started
-don't like when a person has food on their face, and is completely unaware
/grinch
Lou, jag vet inte vilka dina krav är. Men (notera, MEN) jag tänkte att du kanske ville veta mina. Ta dom inte på för stort allvar, då min föränderliga natur speciellt kommer till känna inom det h_e_l_i_g_a_s_t_e av allt.hehe .